Toy theft rocks MegaCorp

by Our Guy on the Spot

Two senior managers at MegaCorp were left crying into their trust funds yesterday, when a nasty man threatened to take their toys away.

Mr G.R.R. Jarhead and Dr. J. Quincy, from the Detection After the Fact That Something Odd was Done division, found themselves strongly resenting suggestions that their product was (to quote an unnamed source) 'a badly-implemented, ludicrously expensive pile of poorly thought-out shite'.

Following MegaCorp standard operating procedure, they immediately set about hiding the truth in an avalanche of remarkably uninformed and bitter criticism of competing products.

Luckily for Quincy and Jarhead, their monitoring product has no effective filters for lies, misrepresentations and other MegaCorp staple items (and no effective means of acting on the result of such filters if they should ever exist); so they were able to communicate effectively their ignorance of the subject matter to a wide, contemptuous and slightly bemused audience of considerably more intelligent people.

The matter was left with the MegaCorp status quo safely preserved. No advantageous changes were made, no money was saved; as a result, inefficiencies continue apace and stock prices continue in freefall.