MegaCorp employs a lot of people. Hundreds of thousands of busy worker bees, dedicated to the 'firm' and ensuring the CEO gets his next multi-million dollar bonus.
The HR (thats 'humanity reduction') drones promote the idea of excellent 'benefits':
Come and work for MegaCorp! We're big! We've got great stuff for you to do! We'll give you excellent employee benefits!To be honest, the list of benefits (the one you reel off to a recruitment
- private healthcare package
- death in service payout
- generous holiday allowance (starting at 25 days/year)
- pension scheme
- flexible working
- private healthcare package - I'm fortunate enough to live in a country that provides a free[1] national health service; private health care appeals but there is a tax penalty
- death in service payout - a genuine and useful benefit. Of course, you'd need to die to make use if it.
- generous holiday allowance (starting at 25 days/year) - this one does exactly what it says on the tin; whats not written is how you'll need to use half of your holiday time to take regular small breaks away from 'work' in order to preserve your sanity and prevent burnout.
- pension scheme - what you 'sacrifice' from your salary is matched by the firm (so there is twice as much money for which they're not liable for tax)
- flexible working - you can adjust your hours & location to accomodate your lifestyle. Of the people I've consulted, MegaCorps idea of 'flexible' is vastly different to everyone elses.
So to balance the list of 'employee benefits', here is the list of 'employee risks':
- lack of sleep, stress and ultimately burnout
- instutionalisation - become stuck in the MegaCorp rut
- career dead end - MegaCorp is like a black hole, nothing escapes
- skills devaluation - do things the MegaCorp way; not transferrable to anywhere else
- increased risk of going postal
Proud to be part of the MegaCorp world.
1 comments:
Well, living in a country that doesn't have any sort of public healthcare, I can categorically state that the care provided by MegaCorp is nothing short of total shit. Firstly you are given a "choice" of plan. This appears to be beneficial for the consumers, but it's yet another con on behalf of the healthcare providers. Unlike the company I left MegaCorp for, there is no simple, English, breakdown of the plans - just the normal hollow, glossy bollocks from the providers themselves.
The plan I selected not only cost me a lot of money, but it wouldn't pay out a cent until I'd spent $500 in one year. Basically, it's a huge outlay unless you get taken seriously ill...when they will probably refuse to payout anyway.
Unlike the company I left Megacorp for, there was no free option.
There are no benefits to working at MegaCorp - unless you're the sort of person who enjoys week-long conference calls, dealing with cock-heads and working for Satan.
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